Biblical Submission In Marriage
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:22-24
What seems like a focus on wives to just “get in line and obey your husband,” is transformed in its thinking in terms of a relationship with Christ. There are two sides to this relationship that we see right off the bat. First, we see submission (or surrender). And this is coming from the wife to the husband. Second, we see who the submission (or surrender) is going toward, which is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
So, out of these two things, which do you think the focus is more centered on? Would it be the one who is surrendering or would it be the one who is supposed to be emulating Christ? A strong argument could be made that the first step that needs to happen is that the husband needs to first emulate Christ. Now wives, this does not automatically give you credence to check-out and not be submission. You might think things like, “Well, my husband is no where near where he needs to be, so that gives me the right to do whatever I want to do.” It is that line of thinking that will destroy a marriage, a family, a church and a country. Let me highly encourage you to pump the brakes on that thinking. Instead, focus on surrendering to Christ.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
Notice these two words “your own.” And the purpose here is that God knows who your husband is. God has purposed your husband. God has a purpose for your husband. And wives, this is a direct command that you are to submit to your own husband in the same way that you submit to the Lord. We submit to the Lord in cheerfulness. We submit to the Lord in gladness. We submit to the Lord in thanksgiving. We submit to the Lord is praise. We submit to the Lord is honor. We submit to the Lord in obedience. We submit to the Lord in Joy. We submit to the Lord in total surrender. And each of these should be descriptions of how you submit to your husband.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."
Husbands, your role is being compared to that of our Lord! In short, that means that your role is very important. And if you are not taking the role of a husband and a father seriously, then you need to re-evaluate who or what you are emulating, because the role of the husband is to walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling to holiness (Ephesians 1:4; 4:1)! The role of the husband is to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2). The role of the husband is the walk in truth (Psalm 86:11) . The role of the husband is to walk as a Child of Light (Ephesians 5:8). The role of the husband is to walk in Wisdom (Ephesians 5:15). And you cannot walk in this way unless you are renewing your mind daily in the Word of God.
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife…”
Genesis 3:16 is where God is speaking to Eve and He says to her, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over you.” God has given man the responsibility to govern and direct his family. This is a large responsibility. But notice the description of the relationship. The husband is the head — like on a body. Your head is where there is wisdom and knowledge and reason. And I want to be very clear in saying that just because you are a man does not mean you automatically obtain more wisdom and knowledge and understanding that your wife. That is not the point here.
You see, although this is a direct command to the wife, it is more important to understand this text as a challenge and responsibility to the husband. In order to lead as the head of the family, in order to obtain wisdom and understanding and knowledge and reason, you must seek God! You must Fear God! This is what the Apostle Paul is saying. He is laying out the responsibility of the husband to lead his family in the way that we are led by our heavenly Father!
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
So, now we see the description of Christ as the head of the church being laid out in front of us. In the same way that we as the body of Christ surrender to Christ, wives should surrender to their husbands. And in the same way that Christ is worthy of being praised and worthy of being honored and worthy of being followed, husbands, we are called to walk in a manner that is worthy of our calling! You see, the very wrong way to look at this text is a “Right of Passage.” But the correct way to look at this Scripture is a “Responsibility.”
Men, we are called to lead our family! This is our calling. This is our responsibility. We are called to be steadfast and immovable! We are called to be the Head of the household — the leader. We are called to point our family to the Rock of our Salvation! This passage is not to be taken out of context as a way for the husband to always be able to choose what should be for dinner or what the family should do or where the family should move or what station the TV should be on. That type of thinking is completely irrelevant and completely out of context! The purpose of this command is that the Husband should desire to follow Christ so closely that it makes it natural that his wife will surrender and submit “As Unto The Lord.”
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
Now, men, let’s up the challenge a little bit. Not only are you compared to the Lord. Not only are you compared to the Head of the Church, which is Christ. But now, you, as husbands, are compared to our Savior.
Husbands, let me ask you a question: What made Christ our Savior? What made Him worthy to be called our Savior? It wasn’t His Kingship. It wasn’t His Ruling. It wasn’t His Authority. It was His Sacrifice. It was His Selflessness. It was His Surrender to the Will of His Father.
There is so much wrongful teaching about marriage, especially in today’s world that has completely redefined marriage itself. But there is no greater marriage than that of a sacrificial marriage. Now, think about those words. Re-think the word “Sacrifice.” Not as thinking of it as “doing something I don’t want to do so that my spouse can be happy…” I cannot tell you how many people I have heard tell me this about their marriage. And it is flat out unbiblical. The sacrifice that Christ made for us was a joy! Hebrews 12:2 says, “For the JOY that was set before Him, He endured the cross.”
There is joy in sacrifice. A True, Biblical, Sacrificial marriage creates joy in Christ. A sacrificial marriage is not letting your spouse pick where to eat even though you do not like that place. A sacrificial marriage is not letting your spouse choose what to watch on TV even though you do not want to watch it. A true, Biblical, Sacrificial marriage is when the Joy and Desire and Passion of your spouse becomes your Joy and Desire and Passion. Does that not perfectly resemble our relationship with God? Love God with all of your heart — that is your desires! Love God with all of your soul — that is your satisfaction! Love God with all of your mind — that is abiding in Him! This is a sacrificial marriage. This is a biblical relationship in marriage.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
The Biblical marriage is a relationship of submission, surrender, and sacrifice. The husband surrenders His life to Christ and the wife submits herself to her husband’s leadership in Christ.
Men, the responsibility lies with us. We must emulate Christ. We must walk in a manner that is worthy of our calling.
So, out of these two things, which do you think the focus is more centered on? Would it be the one who is surrendering or would it be the one who is supposed to be emulating Christ? A strong argument could be made that the first step that needs to happen is that the husband needs to first emulate Christ. Now wives, this does not automatically give you credence to check-out and not be submission. You might think things like, “Well, my husband is no where near where he needs to be, so that gives me the right to do whatever I want to do.” It is that line of thinking that will destroy a marriage, a family, a church and a country. Let me highly encourage you to pump the brakes on that thinking. Instead, focus on surrendering to Christ.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
Notice these two words “your own.” And the purpose here is that God knows who your husband is. God has purposed your husband. God has a purpose for your husband. And wives, this is a direct command that you are to submit to your own husband in the same way that you submit to the Lord. We submit to the Lord in cheerfulness. We submit to the Lord in gladness. We submit to the Lord in thanksgiving. We submit to the Lord is praise. We submit to the Lord is honor. We submit to the Lord in obedience. We submit to the Lord in Joy. We submit to the Lord in total surrender. And each of these should be descriptions of how you submit to your husband.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."
Husbands, your role is being compared to that of our Lord! In short, that means that your role is very important. And if you are not taking the role of a husband and a father seriously, then you need to re-evaluate who or what you are emulating, because the role of the husband is to walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling to holiness (Ephesians 1:4; 4:1)! The role of the husband is to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2). The role of the husband is the walk in truth (Psalm 86:11) . The role of the husband is to walk as a Child of Light (Ephesians 5:8). The role of the husband is to walk in Wisdom (Ephesians 5:15). And you cannot walk in this way unless you are renewing your mind daily in the Word of God.
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife…”
Genesis 3:16 is where God is speaking to Eve and He says to her, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over you.” God has given man the responsibility to govern and direct his family. This is a large responsibility. But notice the description of the relationship. The husband is the head — like on a body. Your head is where there is wisdom and knowledge and reason. And I want to be very clear in saying that just because you are a man does not mean you automatically obtain more wisdom and knowledge and understanding that your wife. That is not the point here.
You see, although this is a direct command to the wife, it is more important to understand this text as a challenge and responsibility to the husband. In order to lead as the head of the family, in order to obtain wisdom and understanding and knowledge and reason, you must seek God! You must Fear God! This is what the Apostle Paul is saying. He is laying out the responsibility of the husband to lead his family in the way that we are led by our heavenly Father!
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
So, now we see the description of Christ as the head of the church being laid out in front of us. In the same way that we as the body of Christ surrender to Christ, wives should surrender to their husbands. And in the same way that Christ is worthy of being praised and worthy of being honored and worthy of being followed, husbands, we are called to walk in a manner that is worthy of our calling! You see, the very wrong way to look at this text is a “Right of Passage.” But the correct way to look at this Scripture is a “Responsibility.”
Men, we are called to lead our family! This is our calling. This is our responsibility. We are called to be steadfast and immovable! We are called to be the Head of the household — the leader. We are called to point our family to the Rock of our Salvation! This passage is not to be taken out of context as a way for the husband to always be able to choose what should be for dinner or what the family should do or where the family should move or what station the TV should be on. That type of thinking is completely irrelevant and completely out of context! The purpose of this command is that the Husband should desire to follow Christ so closely that it makes it natural that his wife will surrender and submit “As Unto The Lord.”
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
Now, men, let’s up the challenge a little bit. Not only are you compared to the Lord. Not only are you compared to the Head of the Church, which is Christ. But now, you, as husbands, are compared to our Savior.
Husbands, let me ask you a question: What made Christ our Savior? What made Him worthy to be called our Savior? It wasn’t His Kingship. It wasn’t His Ruling. It wasn’t His Authority. It was His Sacrifice. It was His Selflessness. It was His Surrender to the Will of His Father.
There is so much wrongful teaching about marriage, especially in today’s world that has completely redefined marriage itself. But there is no greater marriage than that of a sacrificial marriage. Now, think about those words. Re-think the word “Sacrifice.” Not as thinking of it as “doing something I don’t want to do so that my spouse can be happy…” I cannot tell you how many people I have heard tell me this about their marriage. And it is flat out unbiblical. The sacrifice that Christ made for us was a joy! Hebrews 12:2 says, “For the JOY that was set before Him, He endured the cross.”
There is joy in sacrifice. A True, Biblical, Sacrificial marriage creates joy in Christ. A sacrificial marriage is not letting your spouse pick where to eat even though you do not like that place. A sacrificial marriage is not letting your spouse choose what to watch on TV even though you do not want to watch it. A true, Biblical, Sacrificial marriage is when the Joy and Desire and Passion of your spouse becomes your Joy and Desire and Passion. Does that not perfectly resemble our relationship with God? Love God with all of your heart — that is your desires! Love God with all of your soul — that is your satisfaction! Love God with all of your mind — that is abiding in Him! This is a sacrificial marriage. This is a biblical relationship in marriage.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
The Biblical marriage is a relationship of submission, surrender, and sacrifice. The husband surrenders His life to Christ and the wife submits herself to her husband’s leadership in Christ.
Men, the responsibility lies with us. We must emulate Christ. We must walk in a manner that is worthy of our calling.
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